Declassified: Why Season 4 had no Plot
by Khazar
Summary: Yes, my friends it's been declassified. Ahem, on my standards anyway. Let’s just say that this account isn't traceable. Starts out with J.J being kidnapped, and continues in the third chapter about how it relates to the alternate universe of Alias.
1. The Begining

I have something to say about before we start Alias: "Welcome to Libery Village" was a brilliant satire of Desperate Houswives. Ha, infiltrate (then set off a bomb) America as a Desperate Houswive Syd. You'll fit in great.

Ok, enough of that.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Alias, in any form. You'll find out who "does", though, soon!**

**Chapter 1 **

**The Beginning**

Place: L.A Time: Way back when, when Alias was good in S2

J.J Abrams stepped out of the filming studio at six o'clock. His real name was Jeffery J. Abrams, but everyone called him J.J. It had been a refreshingly short work day of 14 hours and J.J was excited to go home and see his wife and kids although he hadn't called them to say he was coming home, the sun was looming over the horizon through the Los Angeles smog, ready to set. J.J had been doing the last bits of post-production for the Season 2 finale of Alias. It was an excellent finale,

J.J walked towards his parked car in the studio parking lot. Strangely empty of non-alias affiliates, as well as anyone else.

'Odd,' J.J thought, 'there's always people in this parking lot.' Just as he thought this, he noticed a black van on the other side of the large parking lot speed up towards J.J. A playful thought crossed his mind, ' Could someone be trying to kidnap me?' J.J chuckled continued walking towards his car Alias plot ideas spinning in his mind and disregarded the van as he came within 20 ft of his car. The van sped up towards J.J faster, it wasn't stopping. It had weaved through the parking lot aisles; it seemed just to come towards J.J. He now began to think that his previous musings had been true as he came to his car and the van was 30 ft away.

"Are you crazy?" J.J screamed as he backed away annoyed, his heart beating fast, and his mind three times faster, jumping around cars to get away from the van. As soon as he said this the van stopped between him and a red Volkswagen hardly enough car to stop the van from penetrating J.J. For an instant he stood there, and then when the doors opened from the van and a dozen masked men came out, J.J noted with guns, he started to run backwards. This wasn't Alias, this was real life a 12 against 1 was fair only to Sydney.

One of the men said in a blue mask as J.J turned to run forwards, J.J could tell it was male from the voice "You sure are, Abrams." Another two men ran after him. J.J ran faster

and forced a hood on J.J. He threw the masked man number 1 who grabbed him away and threw a punch to the mask number 2 who tried to hood him. The masked man number two yelped and fell back and blue mask shot J.J. He gasped as he saw a dart in his stomach, he fell backwards.

"Ahhhhggg," J.J felt horrible. 'Too much malnourishment from eating at the studio every day', he thought. He opened his eyes he remembered the van, the men, the dart. What happened? Had he been transported into his own show? He looked around he was in a room, a storage room. He was on the floor, concrete. His head hurt. J.J sat up. What time was it? He looked at his watch: 8:00 pm. How could the tranquilizer have worn off so quickly?

A man stepped into the storage room; it was the owner of ABC. There were two men behind the owner. The owner was what in the Russian language they call a loh.

"What the hell is going on?" J.J said.

"Would you like some water?" The owner said.

"No I would not like some water!" J.J said exasperated and nervous

The owner splashed a pixie cup of water on one of the men behind him. He crumpled the cup. "I told you he doesn't LIKE water!"

J.J Stood up. He wasn't shaky, he must have looked surprised because the owner of ABC said to J.J, "We shot you with the wrong dart," he crumpled another pixie cup from the table, "Mason put sugar water instead of tranquilizer in the dart. Idiot!" The man on his left looked hurt.

"Get to the point." J.J said

"I want you to get rid of Alias' complexity, Abrams"

"You're firing me? All this to tell me I'm fired?" J.J was incredulous

"No, more than that. We will –in this room- make sure that you will make Alias less…complex."

"You sent me a note about this."

"Correct. And we have blackmail against you. So you have to do it."

"You want to talk with me fine, but I quit. I'm moving Alias to another network. This is stupid." J.J moved for the door

"Wrong Abrams. We want Alias. I want-"

"You want money!"

"So do you! As I was saying-" The owner interrupted.

"I want the show to be smart, appealing, exhilarating for viewers. I want the same thing you do, ratings. I know the ratings have been going down, but I can repair that. I can tell you my ideas right now..."

The owner was getting confused. Too many words and big words like: appealing and exhilarating. It took him an entire hour before he had figured out how to say tranquilizer, now Abrams was trying to use complex words like exhilarating?

"Your ideas, Abrams are of use," the owner said "but of no use right now. You will make the show less complex and that's it. We will keep you here until you come up with an idea for season 3 and season 4, that doesn't involve Roombauldi-" The owner stopped slightly embarrassed. Then continued, "And is more like a soap opera, with out the opera… It should be a show about characters. More about the drama, characters first. Why do you think this network is ABC? It's symbolic, it's all the public can remember. Good Heavens at least they can read! They're not complex like Alias!"

"It IS about the characters, the entire show is about them!And it's Rambaldi."

"Not anymore," He said, a slight bit of confusion in his voice, "now get to work," then he added, "and get rid of the honeycomb symbols for Alias, it makes alias look like it's smart. Give Sydney bangs, too."

The two henchmen approached J.J. J.J couldn't believe this was happening, he punched one of the henchmen the owner of ABC called Mason. Mason blocked the blow and kicked J.J in the stomach.

"Uh!" J.J groaned. J.J was no spy, being kicked in the stomach and being stiff on concrete floor doesn't feel good. But J.J didn't want to give up. The other henchman grabbed him and threw him into a near by chair, before J.J could get up Mason handcuffed J.J to the chair. J.J saw a screen before him pull out from the ceiling. They weren't going to brainwash him were they? If he wasn't so upset he would find this funny.

The owner said to J.J from across the room, "I am putting in a few soap operas for you to watch, you'll see in time how you can improve Alias." Then he was gone with the slam of the door.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the alternative world of Alias that J.J has no idea exsists...

Sydney woke up. Her eyes flipped open to the celling, she put her hand on her head. She couldn't belive what she had dreamt. It wasn't that she hadn't seen or dreamt of weird things before, but this was too much to handle.

(Ok, ABC, this was a joke, please don't send your ABC G-men (or hit men) after me! Also don't send the agents again! I'll be good, see a character from Alias! It's a real fan fic.)


	2. Brainwashing

Agentalana: Yes Agentalana! That's an excellent way to state it.

Nat: Yay! Jen's growing out her bangs. Guess that fight with Anna smartened Syd up: If you get slammed on a marble floor (In "A Man of His Word"). on your back because of not being able to see because of your bangs, grow them out.

A note to all: The cheesy dialogue and descriptions with Nadia and Syd and everyone is on purpose, to make fun of S4's dialogue.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Alias. **

**Chapter 2**

**Brainwashing**

It was different than writing about it or acting it out. When you're handcuffed to a chair while doing a scene in Alias, you know someone has the key and will uncuff you. Now, J.J thought, you can want to be uncuffed all you want, but you're the one in the chair. J.J had been watching various episodes of All my Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital (some of Robert Iger's favorite soap operas) for about two hours now It was a good thing that he was wearing contacts, otherwise he wouldn't be able to see at all, not that he wanted to see the soap operas. J.J had guessed this, as he couldn't look at his watch. The two henchmen were supposed to be keeping J.J awake and paying attention. And of course to keep him from escaping. Not that he would, without being severely maimed by McPherson's goons.

"Hey," J.J said to the henchmen, over the soap opera, "Hey, wake up!"

One henchman woke up, Mason. He looked at J.J, annoyed. Annoyed that he had a contract to watch over some director, forced to watch soap operas of all things, and because he was sleeping. Mason looked like he was going to kill J.J. "Shut up!" Mason barked, he meant it to. It sounded like he was going to rip J.J's voice box out. The other henchman woke up, clearly dissatisfied.

"I don't get a bathroom break?" J.J said.

Mason didn't reply. Same old trick. Not that J.J was going to try to beat up him and his fellow henchman and escape, but this director wasn't too smart. Instead of replying he stood up and walked over to J.J and punched him in the face.

J.J winced where his face stung. "The guys are going to make fun of you right? Could be with a girl now, on a more macho op, instead you're watching some soap operas."

Mason was not pleased. "Shut up!" He barked. "And watch Erica brood over her lover."

"Uncuff me." J.J said. Worth a try. "Isn't there somewhere I can go?" If J.J could get Mason to uncuff him, then he might escape, in a knot with broken bones, but it was the only plan he could think of when he was tranqued, beaten and cuffed to a chair. At least Alias would be a better show if he got out. I will get out. J.J thought. McPherson doesn't want me to watch all these soaps to chat about them, he wants Alias to be about these cheesy shows.

Mason answered his question with a punch into J.J's stomach. J.J cringed back

Then, just as Mason was hovering over J.J, Steven McPherson came into the room. The metal door was slammed open he liked to check on his victims every so often.

"Well, Abrams. I hope you're enjoying the movies." McPherson walked up to J.J and stood between J.J and the screen. "Do you see the emotional interactions? Characters first, Abrams."

J.J didn't answer. He didn't want to and he was still out of breath, anyway.

"Shut it off, Mason" Mason turned off the projector and the other henchman, stood up and rolled up the screen.

"So, now you're going to blackmail me," J.J laughed though still winded, "Just hire another director I won't put my life in danger for a TV show, I have another Idea for a show anyway."

Steven was surprised, he thought that this would work, showing J.J how TV should be. Steven stared at J.J, his eyes unwavering. He was deciding that maybe he would just kill J.J and that would be the end of it. Just put up a soap opera, it would make more money.

Steven would have a meeting with his stock holders and his superiors. With that last thought Steven told the other henchman to come here with the kit. J.J thought what was happening, either they were going to inject him with tranquilizer and he would wake up in his car, or they were going to kill him. Even more so, Steven was anything but creative, every villain calls his death/torture box the kit, J.J had even named two episodes after such a notion. Suit-and-glasses reached for his "kit" during an uprising of stressful music.

J.J panicked as the henchman came towards him with a box, it could have been a gun case or a case full of chemicals, J.J couldn't see as the goon opened it up on a small table that he rolled along with him to J.J's side. But, before J.J could do anything, in less than 2 seconds he felt a stab on his arm, shackled behind him and whatever was in the needle running through his blood. Steven smiled, and then everything was a blur.

Sydney Bristow sat up in bed, she thought about her dream. She saw herself in, a TV show, it was her, but then it was all on a set. There was a director and producer. But, what was strange was that she saw the director being kidnapped by the show director. She had dreams vivid like this sometimes, when she had a bad feeling about Vaughn or her father. Sydney got up out of bed; the clock read 2:17 am. She went over to the bathroom surprised to see Nadia lying on the couch.

Nadia was thinking, Sydney could tell, she was her sister, even though Nadia had her eyes closed, she was awake.

"Nadia," Sydney said to her sitting next to her on the couch. Nadia opened her eyes and smiled.

"You can't sleep either." Nadia sat up.

Sydney smiled back, come on I'll make some tea.

In the kitchen Sydney made two cups of tea and sat down at the table with Nadia.

"Did you know?"

"About what?"

"In SD-6, about my father, being a traitor."

"Nadia," Sydney said touching Nadia on the shoulder, "I want to believe your father has reformed."

"But, you don't."

"You're my sister, and regardless of who your father is, I won't let you down in whatever we need to do."

Nadia nodded solemnly, about to cry. Her eyes always seemed to be full of tears.

This wasn't really a chapter, it was just to well…update SOMETHING. Anyway…Review.


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